October 11, 1938 – May, 10, 2023
Donald Arthur Hayler died in his sleep on May 10, 2023, at 84, in Palo Alto. Don living fully with multiple myeloma for 23 years, through a stroke, and finally with lung cancer. He was active until two weeks before his death, spending time with his family, dining daily with friends, and going on excursions to parks, sporting events, and concerts. As he hoped, Don lived to see his sons grow up, marry, have children, and become caring contributors to society.
Don was born on October 11, 1938, to R. Arthur and Louise Schmiedeman Hayler. He grew up with four siblings in what was then the small city of San Diego, bicycling in hills and farmland and developing a passion for “figuring out how the universe works.” In 1960, Don graduated from Pomona College summa cum laude, a member of both Phi Beta Kappa and Pomona’s championship basketball team.
Don studied lasers and masers while at Harvard and Douglas Aircraft, earning his MA in Physics in 1963. He became deeply fascinated with the computers he was using. Working at Tufts Medical Center, he saw problems in health care that could be improved using computers. He began offering computer courses at Tufts Medical Center, lectured at Harvard Business School, and enrolled in the Harvard School of Public Health. He received an MS in Health Administration in 1974 and continued working with computers at Stanford Health Care, and Fujitsu.
Meanwhile, Don and his future wife, Laurel, met at a Harvard “mixer,” married in 1966, finished their graduate degrees, established their careers, and started a family. Their first son, Donald Lewis, was born in Concord MA in 1975. Both Californians, they then settled in Palo Alto, where son Christopher Arthur was born in 1978
Always a reader, Don adored bookstores and went to the library weekly for his big bag of books. He read science fiction and mysteries for entertainment, spent hours studying books on science, philosophy, poetry, and history, and filled notebooks with his thoughts and wrote poetry. Most of his poems were based on his family and everyday observations, with his whimsical sense of humor.
When a doctor told him basketball was a high-injury sport for middle-aged men, he switched to soccer without talking to any more doctors! He coached all of his sons’ sports teams, led Cub and Boy Scout groups, and taught four-year-olds at his church. As a member of the Palo Alto Soccer League board for years, he was the liaison to the referees, helping to work through their problems with players. Don continued to play soccer four times a week until he was 74, explaining soccer was easier when he stayed closer to the goal, ran less, and made more “hat tricks.”
Don loved his family deeply, especially watching and playing with his three grandchildren. Highlights of their time together included going to the beach, letting them climb on him in the pool like he was a jungle gym, or just kicking a soccer ball around his room. He had an exceptional sense of humor and did anything in his powers to make life better for those around him. He will be terribly missed.
Don was preceded in death by his father, R. Arthur; his mother, Louise; and his sister Ruth. He is survived by his wife, Laurel; his two sons, Don (Thu) and Chris (Elisabeth); his brother, Lewis; his sisters Barbara and Helen; and his grandchildren, Charlie (8), Elliott (6), and Luc (5).
A memorial service will be held on Saturday, June 24, at 2:00 p.m. at the First Congregational Church of Palo Alto, 1985 Louis Road. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you do what Don Hayler did: pick an organization that you believe in and support it financially.